5 Love Languages
Had class tonight and went over light discourse on the 5 Love Languages. We talked about how people can mistake low self esteem needs and the need for that to be countered with positive words by thinking your love language is words of affirmation. The right question to ask is not 'do you need to be affirmed' rather ask, "You feel loved the most when...?" You receive quality time? You receive thoughtful gifts that send the message you have been thought about? Or would you prefer to receive help around the house so that you feel served so this would make you feel loved the most? Perhaps physical touch is your primary love language and you would prefer not to receive a touch that is playfully irritating because it can send the negative message of hate instead of the positive message of love to those who carry this as their primary love language?
If your spouse buys you gift after thoughtful gift or makes lots of money so to think he is showing love but never gives you compliments or affirmation when words of affirmation are the primary way you understand love, then you won't feel loved until you get those words regardless if he works sun up to sun down. It doesn't matter what he does, it matters what he says!
If physical touch is your love language and your spouse never makes the first move, you won't feel loved just because you can be proactive.
If you stop at the gas station on the way home to pick up a candy bar for your spouse just to be thoughtful (and to show love) yet your spouse responds to quality time then you won't get the appreciation you hoped for and the message of love or thoughfulness isn't going to be that meaningful even if you do hear 'Thank You.'
You have to talk or respond to our love language in order to send the message of love. You can't serve your spouse your love language then expect to be building love when their love language if different. While the connection will me made that you are a person of ettiquette or one that is moral or in the practice of good deeds, if it does not minister to the personal love language then the message of making you feel loved is not being sent. We must minister to the way that makes you feel most loved and that will be whatever your love language is.
Words of Affirmation - Say it to encourage.
Quality Time - Face to Face, stop acting like something else is more important.
Receiving Gifts - Visual symbols of love that need not always be expensive.
Acts of Service - Do Something to Help.
Physical Touch - Be sensitive.
If your spouse buys you gift after thoughtful gift or makes lots of money so to think he is showing love but never gives you compliments or affirmation when words of affirmation are the primary way you understand love, then you won't feel loved until you get those words regardless if he works sun up to sun down. It doesn't matter what he does, it matters what he says!
If physical touch is your love language and your spouse never makes the first move, you won't feel loved just because you can be proactive.
If you stop at the gas station on the way home to pick up a candy bar for your spouse just to be thoughtful (and to show love) yet your spouse responds to quality time then you won't get the appreciation you hoped for and the message of love or thoughfulness isn't going to be that meaningful even if you do hear 'Thank You.'
You have to talk or respond to our love language in order to send the message of love. You can't serve your spouse your love language then expect to be building love when their love language if different. While the connection will me made that you are a person of ettiquette or one that is moral or in the practice of good deeds, if it does not minister to the personal love language then the message of making you feel loved is not being sent. We must minister to the way that makes you feel most loved and that will be whatever your love language is.
Words of Affirmation - Say it to encourage.
Quality Time - Face to Face, stop acting like something else is more important.
Receiving Gifts - Visual symbols of love that need not always be expensive.
Acts of Service - Do Something to Help.
Physical Touch - Be sensitive.
Posted by Cindy at Wednesday, November 18, 2009 10:32:00 PM 
Categories: Love Language, Personality Type
Categories: Love Language, Personality Type
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